A Grief.

                     1.

How can I write about grief?
It is almost impossible.
How can I write about grief without telling a lie?.
How can I write a sentence that is not anodyne?

There is just too much sorrow in my life at the moment.
The weight of all this pain is almost unbearable,
Suffocating
                  Like an overcoat thrown over my head
Covering my eyes, my ears, the whole of my face,
                                                              My body.
Too many deaths,
                           Too many griefs dropped out of the blue
Unexpected,
                           An unstoppable avalanche of deaths.

Faces that were here suddenly not here anymore,
                                           dropped out of sight.
The local streets crammed tight with new, much younger
                                                                            faces,
Strangers,
The old ones deleted entirely,
                                             Wiped out beyond yearning,
Taking my comfort zone with them,
              That old warm blanket riddled with tiny fag holes,
Chucked into the landfill bin;
                            Thrown out with a bag of old keepsakes,
The knick knacks of long gone lives.

                         2.

And you, my Thorn Flower, just one lost among many,
For you I have cried each night for forty years,
My friend, my partner at the campfire dances.

Your friends gathered in twos and threes to nurse you.
Sat silent and watched the snow thaw while you slept.
Sat silent counting the minutes, the hours break slowly,
We, who were more uncertain, more terrified than you.

Today I still keep watch for you, my Thorn Flower,
Placing a candle by the kitchen window;
Listening for the knock that never comes.


Trevor John Karsavin Potter.
April 9th. - 12th. 2013.
February 20th. - March 17th. 2014.