This Maundy Thursday Night. (Revised).

Kneeling in the silent chapel
I study the blank walls where
my favourite icons should be
and sense the infinite shadowing me
in a cold wind of absence.

I fear that God is truly dead,
lost in the flickering shadows
where mournful candles burn,
but accentuate the darkness.
I face the vacant spaces
that haunt my inner life,
but I can sense no secret voice,
no echo deep within me,
no sign that I exist.

Faith is all I have to go on living;
Faith is all I have to outface death.
I am not the person I used to think I was,
all vain pretense has been thrown out,
                                            discarded;
chucked out like last years winter fashions.
I am that silent space locked deep within me,
the silent space that is all things and nothing.
Faith is all I have to help me now.

I look forward to this coming Easter morning
when fragile light will swathe the church in
                                                            colours
more varied than the threads in Joseph`s coat.
Such beauty can illuminate deep sorrow,
light up the void within the empty tomb.

The icons will once more be back in place,
shimmering among the ranks of votive candles
like gilded prayers, the gates to paradise
opened for all who seek their truth in art.
And for an hour or two  I may throw off
                                               the heartache,
these bleak corrosive whisperings of doubt.


Trevor John Karsavin Potter.
March 24th. - 25th. 2016. - April 16th. - 21st. - 23rd. 2017.
August 4th. 2017. - March 28th. 2018.